HOG Officer Academy | Chrome. Leather. Leadership.

Course Catalog

Fall 2026 — All courses require leather. Denim is permitted Wednesdays only.

HOG 101

Advanced Leather Vest Protocol

Proper patch placement, pin hierarchy, and the 3-second rule for commenting on another rider's vest. Lab component: ironing on patches without burning the leather.

3 Chrome Credits

HOG 205

Parliamentary Procedure for Deciding Where to Ride

Robert's Rules of Order adapted for groups of 40 people who all want to go somewhere different but will end up at the same diner anyway.

2 Chrome Credits

HOG 210

The Art of the Slow Nod

Master the official rider-to-rider acknowledgment. Covers timing, chin angle, and the critical difference between a nod and "you have something on your face."

1 Chrome Credit

HOG 315

Chapter Meeting Snack Logistics

Strategic donut procurement. Coffee volume calculations for groups of 20-80. Advanced: handling the member who always brings store-brand cookies.

2 Chrome Credits

HOG 320

Ride Formation & Ego Management

Who leads? Who sweeps? Why does Gary always try to pass on the right? Conflict resolution at 55 mph. Prerequisite: HOG 101 or 10+ years of suppressed opinions.

4 Chrome Credits

HOG 410

Advanced Parking Lot Stance

Arms crossed. Sunglasses on. Slight lean. You're not waiting, you're presiding. Elective: synchronized dismount for group arrivals.

1 Chrome Credit

HOG 415

Weather Cancellation Diplomacy

How to tell 30 riders the ride is canceled without anyone questioning your toughness. Covers: the "watching radar" text, the "let's push it to Sunday" pivot, and the strategic use of "it's not the rain, it's the roads."

3 Chrome Credits

HOG 490

Capstone: The Officer's Farewell Ride

Planning your term-end ride without it feeling like a retirement party. Covers speech length limits, appropriate level of emotion, and gracefully handing off the clipboard.

5 Chrome Credits

Officer Entrance Exam

Every answer is technically wrong. Choose the one that is most officer-like.

Question 1 of 3

A member suggests a new route. The route goes past a Cracker Barrel. Your response?

A "We'll form a subcommittee."

B "I'll take it under advisement." (You're already planning the Cracker Barrel stop.)

C Slow nod. Say nothing. Add it to the route. Take credit at the meeting.

Question 2 of 3

It's 47°F and drizzling. Three members say they still want to ride. What do you do?

A Ride. Suffer. Never mention the temperature. This is the way.

B Cancel, but frame it as "looking out for the newer riders."

C Suggest "garage day" at your place. Order pizza. Nobody rides. Everyone's happy.

Question 3 of 3

Gary has gone rogue in formation again. For the third time today. Your move?

A Radio the sweep: "Gary's freelancing again."

B Nothing. Gary will be Gary. You've accepted this.

C Promote Gary to Road Captain. Now it's his problem.

Officer Ranks

⭐

Supreme Road Marshal

Answers to no one. Picks every route. Gets the best parking spot.

💫

Regional Chrome Commander

Oversees all chrome-related decisions within a 200-mile radius.

🧩

Deputy Snack Route Coordinator

Ensures no ride exceeds 90 minutes without a food stop.

🏆

Acting Chrome Liaison, Detailing Division

Will inspect your bike and quietly judge your wax job.

🛠

Sergeant-at-Arms (Parking Lot)

Maintains order during the 20 minutes everyone stands around before actually leaving.

📋

Minutes Secretary (Napkin Division)

Records meeting notes on whatever's available. Has never found last month's notes.

🍔

Provisional Donut Procurement Officer

Entry-level. Bring donuts to 3 consecutive meetings to advance.